Our annual reminder to be kind…

There are many lessons that I have learned through our journey to have our rainbow twins finally. It was a long, hard road. Never in a million years did we think this would be our story. It is true that you really cannot plan your life. My life was planned out, but after 37 years, I can say it didn’t turn out how I planned it. My heart aches for those who are having trouble trying to conceive, have had miscarriages, stillborns, or infant losses. I wish we weren’t a part of this horrible club, but we are.

With April Fool’s Day approaching, I encourage everyone who has not been through these horrific experiences to THINK BEFORE YOU POST! What may seem like a harmless joke to post that you are pregnant, when in fact you are not, there is someone on your feed who feels very differently. Before our troubles starting a family, I would never have thought twice about it and kept scrolling. When I see these posts, it feels like a punch in the stomach.

It is not a joke to a couple who is having trouble conceiving after months or years of going through the motions. It is not a joke to a mother who had to be in the hospital for 17 days trying to prolong a very early delivery in hopes of getting her daughter to 24 weeks gestational. The mother who did everything in her power to give her daughter a fighting chance and then was told just to stop fighting. Then, that mother had to hold her 13.5-ounce stillborn child. All this couple has is a few things from the hospital: a plaque in her memory, a memorial garden, and her ashes. This woman was also told that she could no longer carry a child and had to find a different way to have children. That’s when the surrogacy journey began. This woman is me, and my experience is not a joke.

There are countless stories of couples, some of whom you may know personally, suffering and struggling silently. Only some people are comfortable sharing their experiences partly because the world makes us feel like we cannot and should not talk about it.

So, on April 1st, we kindly ask you not to make pregnancy an April Fool’s joke.

I am 1 in 8.

I am 1 in 4.

It Takes a Herd is here to bring awareness to infertility and surrogacy. To learn how to help or receive support, please visit our website or follow us on Facebook.

Thanks for being part of the herd.